Thursday, 28 October 2010


Sorry i havent been posting lately, just been on a "short holiday" with work. We went to amsterdam for an educational visit (i work for a ferry company atm). Was pretty fucking awesome, i went to the red light district just to see if it really was how people described it. There were girls that looked about 70 there, Hell i didnt give a shit i was stoned half the visit. I also learnt you go to a coffee shop in amsterdam if you want weed, if you want coffee you go to a café. I learnt that the hard way when i asked for space cakes in a café and the waitress just looked at me weird. It was really fucking awkward. But seriously, you could probaly just get high by sitting in a coffee shop with all the smoke coming from the other people. Anyway yeah that holiday was fucking great. Blogggg ya laterrrrr.

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Tale Of Win #2.

Ok this story isnt about me, this is about my friend when we went to Morrisons (British Supermarket). Around here, theres always toddlers running around in the supermarket. Anyway, the reason we went to morrisons was for lunch, so we sat down waiting for our food to come. We were sitting on a four seated table, and right beside us there was a wooden arm-rest sort of thing, and beside the arm rest was another table, so you were practicly sitting next to another person. Anyway, this woman sat next to me with like a 5 year old toddler. I put my arm on the arm rest, and i felt a little pinch, i looked and my thumb was bleeding. The little shit bit me, i had a really shit day that day, thats why my friend was taking me for lunch. So, remembering something from a Sexual Education class i had when i was little, i made myself go wide-eyed, like i just snorted a pound of cocaine. I started saying "oh shit", putting on a real sad look on my face and then my friend (me) picked up on what i was doing straight away and started saying stuff like "oh no, god bless that child". His mother than started asking what was going on, and i told her that i got my test results back today, and i was HIV positive, i also said "You should get your son tested". Her eyes started wartering, and she never waited for her food, she just grabbed her son and went straight away. I didnt acctualy have HIV.... but i totally screwed that kid over.

Monday, 18 October 2010

Tale Of Win.

Ok today the funniest thing happened, i got on a train and a man, being a prick with his 3 kids sat next to my on a 4 seater with a table, even though there were loads of other free seats. He then spilt coke all over my laptop, he didnt even say sorry. Then i said what the fuck, not even in an aggresive way. He then shouted "dont swear infront of my children!" so then i said "well if you never spilt FUCKING coke on me, then i wouldent be FUCKING swearing would i?". The man then started pulling his children along saying "your a disgrace.. etc" so then i realised that his daughter was holding a copy of harry potter and the half blood prince, i then shouted "DUMBLEDORE DIES ON PAGE 606". She immediatly bursted out in tears, a moment later her brother then did. It was fucking worth the £600 laptop getting fucked up. Totally made my day.

Some really retarded laws i'v come across....

25. It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
23. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.
22. In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.
21. Under the UK’s Tax Avoidance Schemes Regulations 2006, it is illegal not to tell the taxman anything you don’t want him to know, though you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t mind him knowing.
20. In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle.
19. In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.
18. Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.
17. In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.
16. In Lancashire, no person is permitted after being asked to stop by a constable on the seashore to incite a dog to bark.
15. In Miami, Florida, it is illegal to skateboard in a police station.
14. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.
13. In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.
12. In London, Freemen are allowed to take a flock of sheep across London Bridge without being charged a toll; they are also allowed to drive geese down Cheapside.
11. In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.
10. In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.
9. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed.
8. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.
7. In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.
6. In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
5. In Boulder, Colorado, it is illegal to kill a bird within the city limits and also to “own” a pet – the town’s citizens, legally speaking, are merely “pet minders”.
4. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
3. In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.
2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination; he may only see their reflection in a mirror.
1. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast is legally the property of the King; the tail, on the other hand, belongs to the Queen - in case she needs the bones for her corset.

British National Party

Ok, so i applied for this job not long ago, i wasent really bothered about getting this job but the thing that really pissed me off was that i got REJECTED because i didnt speak polish, this was a job in wales. WALES. That just proves the amount of fucking immigrints in this shithole called britain, For that reason i do no longer vote for the Conservitives, because there just the fucking same as the rest. I now vote BNP. We need to get the immigrints out of this country.

Saturday, 16 October 2010

My Views On Racism. (Britain)

Im not really racist but something that had really pissed me off through out my life was all these muslims and paki's that came to britain because there countries are poor. Stealing OUR jobs, Claiming poor peoples benefits. The only reason they got let in here in the first place was because those corrupt prime ministers let them in, thinking it would give them more votes. Ok maybe i am a little racist, but i really do hate muslims, i was just brought up that way.

Sunday, 3 October 2010

My Child Hood

Ok so im not going to be sympathetic about this, but i had a pretty shitty childhood. I lived in a little port-town called holyhead, (like the most southerly point in wales) this town was a proper shithole, there was litter and crap all over the floors, and we rarely seen sunshine. Although it was real shitty, it was proberly the best place to be in wales. Anyway, my mam (mom in welsh) used to beat the shit out of me if i done something wrong, although i really hated her at the time, i thank her now because i think it has somewhat toughened me up. I never got bullied really, if anything i used to hang around with the bullies wich was real shitty aswell. I also remember this man called "dave" that lived on my estate, he always talked to himself when people were around, and whenever he spat on the floor, he'd stamp on it and do a 360 turn. Me and my friends eventually nick-named him "Crazy Dave" after he got banned from our local news agents and he begged me on his knees to go and get him milk from the shop because he "didnt want his cat to starve". Being the nice guy i am i went and got it for him, i came out and he was gone, so i just left the milk on a bench and wandered off. When i got to my mid 12's i started drinking, my cousin got me into drinking at first, and my mother didnt really mind. However my dad was very strict, and he told me if he ever caught me drinking, smoking, or going with a boy he'd kick the shit out of me. Have you ever seen "this is england"? well its about a boy who hung out with really older boys and he got influenced to drink, be racist etc.Anyway One night all of our friends just got drunk on a average saturday, and we hit town before we sobered up. My friend tom, started gettin frustrated with his mobile phone and he threw it on the floor, a peice flew off and hit one of these women (in their mid 30's) and they started screaming at tom, calling him names and stuff. So my cousin (cain) responded to the name calling, and started calling them names back (dykes, scums, slang etc..). Then one of the girls said "Holyhead is a shithole" or something like that, that really did tick cain off, he went mad and knocked one out in one punch, and just started punching the other one till she hit the ground'. About 3 men started to sprint after cain then, and they couldent catch him. An ambulance came and everything, and my friend tom got arrested and questioned. Cain would never had got caught if he didnt phone tom while he was in the police car, they got his number etc and knocked on his door the next day. After alot of going to the court, Cain eventually got sent to a juvinile prison in Stoke Keith (England). Those were basicly the highlights of my childhood, from 12 - 20 it was kind of the same.